When Dreams Turn Toxic
Have you ever held on to a big dream so much it’s turned to plutonium in your mind? What was once a delightful vision to work towards goes from a joyful horn of plenty to a poisoned chalice always out of arm’s reach.
Sometimes we want something so badly it turns toxic. We obsess for the phone to ring, for people to see our staggering genius, to want and buy our wild ideas or to receive confirmation through the post of a job interview/college place/manuscript or book proposal.
We start behaving like Jack Nicholson in The Shining, storming around and mono focused about the day the stars are in alignment and our dream is delivered. Wild-eyed we watch others reaching their dreams or having what we want and seethe with quiet envy. We bore family and friends with our endless chat about our book synopsis or fitness plan and ride the emotional waves of knock backs and hitches with loved ones looking on, seasick with tension.
The thing is it’s really hard having a big dream or life goal. It takes courage and faith to feel the psychic and soulful tug of its calling and following this treacherous but wonderful path that is not lined with guarantees or certainties.
Some wish they had a passion in life while for others it can feel like a curse; a fire in their bones that wont let them rest until their calling is fulfilled.
There are, however, ways of holding on to a big dream without it destroying your energy, eating up your todays while you fixate on tomorrow and enjoying the journey as much as the destination.
- First of all get clear on what you want and why you want it.
- What are the predominant feelings associated with having this goal?
- Create a time line of steps and how long, realistically, it will take to get there.
- Build in landmark moments along the journey to mark your progress.
- Surround yourself with champions and cheerleaders. You need radiators not drains.
- There will always be someone who is threatened by your ambition who wants to rain on your parade.
- Find a tribe of like minded people or get a mentor who has been there before to guide you.
- Be patient, dreams are like creation and giving birth – it takes time, labour and pain but it’s worth it.
- Really get that you’re special as you are in a VIP club of about 2% of the population prepared to get out of the comfort zone and follow their dreams, dare to have adventures, living without limits and aiming for fulfillment and abundance. Yay you!
- Spend spare moments of the day daydreaming your big vision, bringing it to life, feeling it, smelling it and living it to raise your vibrational energy helps too.
- Decide to have fun and enjoy every day so that you’re not living life on hold but make it a journey of excitement and curiosity to the destination. As one friend told me 25 years ago “hold on lightly to your dream like a butterfly in your hand” – too much neediness and despair and you will crush it. Go gently. She went on to win a £100 million pound contract with China with her products.
Keep your head in the stars but your tootsies in the green lush grass of now to follow your dreams and have a life well lived. We applaud you.