How to manage the “How”

So my question to you this week – is the scariest thing in your life YOU at the moment? Do you, like me, regularly scare yourself witless? No I don’t just mean the face worse than death that is the horror of the morning mirror nor when you step on the scales of injustice and it’s gone from sylph to sumo overnight.

No, I mean when you see a wonderful dream unfolding before you, a knee-knockingly exciting path opening and as your smile goes off the Glee scale you default to impending doom by pushing the H bomb in your psyche. H bomb? In coach speak it’s the “How? word.

You see what you want and you want it so much it hurts and suddenly the awesomeness of the “HOW the heck am I going to do that?” opens up a chasm of terror the duvet and grey life of ho-humdom seems infinitely preferable.

Pure Blog

Short of quick drying concrete or a shot of botox to the soul you won’t find anything so guaranteed to keep you frozen in excuse mode.

In the “How?” you will find doubt and the existential horror of “not knowing”. It is the one thing guaranteed to tie boulders around your dreams and keep you in a place of procrastination and fear.

Here are some typical situations when the How? scares you into submission:

  • How am I ever going to make money out of this business idea?
  • How will I handle my success when I make millions/write the next “Harry Potter”, find someone to love me?
  • How can I support myself when I need to day job?
  • How will I ever get there when I don’t know anything about this subject?
  • How can I get people to take me seriously?
  • How will I sustain this?
  • How will I handle it when my partner leaves/I leave them or I lose my job/get that job?Add your own here …


How to handle the “How?”

Scaring ourselves into complete stasis means it makes it easier not to bother and stick to the discomfort of the comfort zone. Why bother? It’s all a bit too tough this life on Easy Street you’ll reason.

Here are some other ways of defusing the H bomb:

  • Do first what you do know. Do what is achievable, do it, then take stock. What can you do next?
  • Ask yourself – what do I need to believe and trust in to get me where I want to be?
  • What possible negative belief are you currently holding that could be sabotaging your dream? ie “I’m not good enough.” “I always fail.” “Nobody will want me.” “I’m not creative.” “Deep down I’m a loser.” “I always struggle so this going to be tough”.
  • What new belief could replace this?
  • Think of a car head lights. They don’t have to illuminate the whole road to your destination before you but a few feet at a time will still get you there safely.
  • Plot stepping stones to your goal. Make small achievable goals along the way and celebrate when you get to them.
  • When you feel fear looming do something to distract yourself and remind yourself of your goal with photos and images that keep the dream alive and make your heart sing
  • Act “as if” the dream/goal was already a reality. Beam the great feelings you will feel when you get there and you will attract the things you need to you.

Or fast track your daydreams and make them a reality and book a 30 minute consultation here.

Trackback from your site.

  • Juliette Dyke

    "The backup notes were incredible and I will using them when I start my coaching practice"
  • Lydia McDowall - Project Co-Ordinator (museums)

    "Such a supportive community spirit and I really enjoyed the great buddy coaching relationship that was built"
  • Salome Payn - Project Manager

    "I loved the freestyle coaching approach that is not dependent on a model"
  • Jose Rihan - Utility Warehouse agent

    "I now have team meetings where I coach my distributors overcome fear, procrastination and to set real goals"
  • Lydia McDowall - Project Co-Ordinator (museums)

    "The notes were very comprehensive and great back up refresher - clearly written and well presented"
  • Karen Campbell - Marketing Manager

    "What I loved was the varied content, inspirational teaching and practice and the amazing, empowering journey"
  • Salome Payn - Project Manager

    "The notes were well thought through and I always felt like an expert after reading them"
  • Jose Rihan - Utility Warehouse agent

    "The Pure Coaching Manual was excellent and substantial"
  • Natalie Watkins - Landscape Architect, Milan

    "We covered more than I expected and it was never boring - every week was worthwhile"
  • Natalie Watkins - Landscape Architect, Milan

    "I hope to have a healthy coaching practice within the year"
  • Lydia McDowall - Project Co-Ordinator (Museums)

    "The notes were very comprehensibve and great back up refresher - clearly written and well presented"
  • Lydia McDowall - Project Co-Ordinator (Museums)

    "Such a supportive community spirit and I really enjoyed thegreat biuddy coaching relationship that was built"
  • Jose Rihan - Utility Warehouse agent

    "The buddy coaching was a great way to learn"
  • Juliette Dyke

    "I loved getting to know my fellow coaches"
  • Juliette Dyke

    "If you're looking for a hands-on, intensive coaching course with a friendly group and based on real life experiences, this course is for you!"
  • Salome Payn - Project Manager

    "This course will stretch you out of your comfort zone and transform you to be the person you were meant to be. Be ready to be transformed from good to amazing. To Carole and her team I will be eternally grateful"
  • Karen Campbell - Marketing Manager

    "The coaching notes were written brilliantly and easily understood"
  • Lee Mollins - Data Analysis Director - Financial Services

    "The PCA course provides a powerful collection of tools for dealing the present and defining the future. A unique opportunity to find community and help in a truly open and non-judgmental environment"
  • Lydia McDowall - Project Co-Ordinator (Museums)

    "It was surprising to have real clients to join us to coach and was a great way to put into practice what we learned"
  • Juliette Dyke

    "There was more 'real' coaching client practice than I expected - which was great"
  • Lydia McDowall - Project Co-Ordinator (museums)

    "It was surprising to have real clients to join us to coach and was a great way to put into practice what we learned"
  • Jose Rihan - Utility Warehouse agent

    "Outstanding course content, structure and format. Carole Ann and Lou are very generous in sharing their knowledge and expertise"
  • Natalie Watkins - Landscape Architect, Milan

    "This is the course you need to be on. It's totally real!"
  • Lee Mollins - Data Analysis Director - Financial Services

    "I really enjoyed the openness and personal sharing, we practised on 'live' clients and the notes really covered the modules properly."
  • Natalie Watkins - Landscape Architect, Milan

    "The notes were just brilliant! It was great to focus on the course and not have to make tons of notes as they were very clear, useful and I actually looked forward to reading them when they arrived each week"
  • Lydia McDowall - Project Co-Ordinator (museums)

    "I enjoyed the relaced atmosphere and delivery though it was structured and directed too"
  • Natalie Watkins - Landscape Architect, Milan

    "This course was challenging, insightful, brilliant - it covers all the topics you need to start running a successful practice. I loved every minute. Carole Ann's background in business and journalism added extra expertise"
  • Natalie Watkins - Landscape Architect, Milan

    "It was experiential but it also had structure"
  • Lydia McDowall - Project Co-Ordinator (Museums)

    "I enjoyed the relaxed atmosphere and delivery, though it was structured and directed too"

Psst!  Sorry to interrupt...

We just thought you might be interested in joining our exclusive coaching tips group.  Coaching guidance delivered to your inbox to support you when you need it.

You have Successfully Subscribed!